Second Chances
by mikisto26
Summary: "Time might have anesthetized, she couldn't tell, but she has not yet forgiven nor healed and maybe time couldn't do that." The chapters in this story are not related. It will be a random collection of short fics to show the state and the development of their relationship. (This takes place some time after TGF 01x10.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It was heartbreaking to write this but I guess we have to find a way to either cope with it or give up on them. (this was supposed to be a one-shot but I'd be willing to go on a longer journey if you are willing to join me)**

The rich burgundy hugged her body like a second skin and she knew that she would readily shed it for him. She had to admit to herself that the lingerie suited her perfectly, she looked good and she was aware of that. She's always known it. Technically, her body hasn't changed over the course of the last year.

Diane turned around, continuing to observe her figure closely in the mirror. She's never done that before. But lately, she felt like she had to. She was listening to that unfamiliar voice in her head and it flooded her with insecurity. Diane wasn't exactly used to that feeling, but she knew where it was coming from. Confidence had always been her greatest gift, but she knew that something was rupturing, gradually transforming into a fissure. It was a slow energy-sapping process that had started some time ago but she didn't always feel it. It wasn't always there. But when she felt it, it hurt. It hurt bad and she didn't know how to make it go away.

There were times when she could make the voice in her head fade, she couldn't shut it completely but it helped when it softened. But Diane was struggling. With every smile, with every touch, with every embrace and every kiss, the feeling was equally suppressed and induced. His palm skimming along her skin was what broke her, but at the same time it was what healed her. She wanted it to not bother her, wanted to make the thoughts go away, wanted be able keep the eye-contact so desperately when he looked at her. And she managed, sometimes. Other times, she couldn't bear his gaze and would let her head fall against his shoulder and find shelter in what simultaneously withdrew it from her.

Time might have anesthetized, she couldn't tell, but she has not yet forgiven nor healed and maybe time couldn't do that. They had good days together when Diane managed to shake it off and move on, one step at a time. It was easier when their days went by without sex, not because she didn't want it but because it was simply more bearable. She didn't want to blame herself for what happened but she couldn't help but wonder if she was the reason. Deep inside she knew it was his mistake, but she was scared that she contributed to it. And how could she know, they haven't done more than discuss it briefly, she didn't know the details because she didn't want to hear it. She had broached the subject before and she regretted it when he started talking, unable to handle his words, his excuses, his explanations.

Diane turned and ran her hands along her body, watching herself. Her fingers lazily sliding over her chest, her ribcage, down to her stomach and stopping at the line of her panties. She looked into her own eyes and smiled. It couldn't have been her, could it? At least not her body. She had met him late in life and he accepted her and wanted her the way she was, that's why she believed him when he said he didn't sleep with any of his students. It wasn't exactly about Kurt sleeping with someone else before her, but for some reason she had felt threatened by that younger generation. She based her marriage on his declaration, she trusted him and knew it would be the right thing to fully commit to that man. But what she had feared most, became an undeniable reality. She thought she had based her marriage on the truth, but maybe she had based it on a lie- or the truth that at one point became a lie and made her question her decision.

She was lost in her thoughts but as focused as she was, she still saw him approaching her from behind. She instantly gasped for air and in the same instant inhaled his scent. His breath was warm, almost agonizingly hot against her shoulder and she closed her eyes and swallowed hard, breathing out slowly and once again accepting the apology she never got. The effect he had on her was not to be denied, and she couldn't help but think he is all she ever wanted, all she ever needed; was and still is and probably always will be. That wonderful, wonderful man who made her experience the truest love she had ever felt. It was clear that she couldn't resist him, and why should she? He was her husband after all and they were getting back together; not there yet but getting there.

She turned in his arms and he pulled her closer. Her palms were stroking over his chest and she looked up at him, deep into his eyes, looking for answers, not sure what her silent question was. She could see the love in his eyes, they revealed how much he cared. She was looking for something else, maybe a hint of remorse and at one point she thought she found it, hiding behind his proud loving look. Diane knew he felt bad about it, hated himself for it, but she wasn't sure if it was enough to make up for what he did. What could possibly be enough? There was no such thing as an appropriate choice of words to make it better, nothing that could convince her it would go away. She knew he wouldn't do it again. The pain was still there, she could feel it under her skin.

Her hand traveled up his chest, over his neck and finding his cheek. The scar from the incident earlier this month has faded, only a light red spot still visible. He looked so innocent and she bit her lip lightly, trying to hide a smile. She could see that there was a smile forming on his lips too and she sighed when he leaned further down, unsure if she heard his or her heart beating. He's never been much of a talker and his look was maybe revealing more apology than his words ever could.

"You look beautiful." He pressed his lips against her collarbone and mumbled those words against her skin while his hands moved up her back and unclasped her bra. Diane shivered, she wanted to relish this so badly and tried to keep herself from talking because as much as she wanted to keep quiet, she had that sentence on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be voiced. And she wanted to say it, thought he needed to hear it, to hear what he had done to her. But she has said it, many times, and he's heard it and couldn't handle it, even with a cautious choice of words. She wanted to utter those words so urgently that it was unbearable, but, after all, she thought he didn't deserve to be punished like that over and over. Diane couldn't voice the ' _Yet you slept with someone half my age'._ She loved him, still, more than anything and it wouldn't make a difference.

Her hand that had previously been resting on his cheek was now curling around his neck, reassuringly meeting his intentions, taking the initiative. And she pressed her lips against his, overtaking him with her passion and all the emotion she was feeling. Kurt retorted, holding her tightly, their topless bodies colliding in a way that both of them were too familiar with. She managed to keep the words to herself, to not rip open the wounds that have already begun to heal because that would only be detaining.

And maybe, maybe this would all get easier. Not today, not tomorrow, but sometime. She was carrying that anger and disappointment, but she knew she would have to accept the pain and find a way to deal with it. She couldn't just forget it but she could try to keep herself from drowning in it. At some point, they could find a way to come back from what happened and maybe the only way she could heal was if they healed _together_. One thing was clear- she didn't want anyone else in her life. _  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Diane's body tensed after an unexpected shiver covered her body. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes for a split second, turning her head to the right to face him. He flashed her an admirable smile and if there was one thing she hadn't forgotten over the course of the last year, it was his smile. Kurt rested his palm on her back where he had previously slid his thumb along. He knew he made her shudder and he tried to suppress a proud grin. She couldn't deny that the cut-out on her back was more or less asking for his touch and he wouldn't deny that it was fairly appealing.

Diane eyed her plus one and realized yet again how good he looked in a suit that he'd only wear on really rare occasions. The black and white a contrast to his usual colorful plaids and his worn-out jeans. She didn't mind his casual clothes but she always thought there was something tempting about loosening his tie in her dark hallway, somewhat conscious, somewhat arbitrarily responding to the effect of alcohol and subdued arousal, after yet another dull event and one scotch too many. She wondered if that night was going to end similarly, or if they simply weren't there yet.

Their relationship was sort of getting back to normal but there was much more they needed to work on. They were trying, sometimes not really, sometimes more. But they were trying. Kurt was trying. He knew that he had screwed up and that he had jeopardized their relationship and lost what was most important to him. He knew he didn't want to lose her again and he was determined to make it up to her in any way he possibly could. Diane gave him a second chance and he didn't take it for granted. She was glad that he was still the man she thought he was; maybe his faults now surpassed hers but deep down she knew the kind of person he truly was. And she was willing to hold on to what made her happy, knowing that it would be a long and demanding journey. There simply was no one else she could have pictured herself living with at that point of her life and more importantly, she didn't want it.

Kurt reached for her hand slowly, asking himself for a second if it was okay to take her hand in public because it would automatically make them look like an ordinary couple, which he wasn't sure they really were. Neither had ever voiced the words, they were not really back together again. But she was his wife and even if she's been failing to tell him that she loves him so far, and the only response he ever got to his "I love you" was her "I know.", he wanted to make sure she knew he was serious about this. And he needed to reassure her. So when his fingers brushed against hers, the look in his eyes still uncertain, awaiting her reaction, she turned to him again, a subtle smile turning into a heartfelt grin, accepting his touch so readily that it threw him off track just slightly.

He uttered a quiet "Hey." and she laughed at his attempt to sound calm when it was clear that he was excited. "Hi.", she replied. Diane knew how much it meant to him that she was letting him try again, small steps first because she knew it wouldn't work out if they suddenly had it all. And if she was being honest, she wanted to see him fight. She didn't want to see him suffer, but she wanted to see his commitment and his contribution. It wasn't only due to her to forgive him, it was also due to him to make an effort. And she wanted that man. She wanted him bad.

"Let's grab a drink.", she added. She held his hand more tightly and started strutting towards the bar with him. "You get to choose.", Diane smiled as she leaned against the bar. There surely wasn't much of a choice for him since he only enjoyed like three high-proof liquors in general. And when he mouthed a silent "Scotch." and raised his hand and two fingers to point out that he needs two, Diane suddenly wasn't wondering about how the night would end anymore. The look he gave her when he handed her one of the crystal glasses amounted to the same thing. His intentions would only be fueled by the amber liquid pouring down his throat. Diane knew perfectly well the effect scotch had on him. She was sure that he would have had the same intentions in a sober state as well, but the alcohol would make him braver. More daring. Ending up in bed wasn't what was precarious, assuming they would make it to the bed. What would be dicey is, that after a few glasses, they might not even make it there.

Diane looked away and started walking, well aware that he was watching her. Kurt followed, not sure where she was headed. He noticed that a few other pairs of eyes were glancing at his wife too, one of the many men raising his glass in her direction, and it didn't take long until Kurt caught up with her and swung his arm around her waist. His behavior was surprising her, but she was rather amused. He never seemed to really be bothered by other men, or maybe she never realized. But Kurt was clearly marking his territory and she actually didn't mind. Diane chuckled and took a long sip from her drink, returning her empty glass to the waiter who stopped by. "Two more, please." She practically made Kurt drink the rest of his drink, too. She freed herself from his tender embrace and stood in front of him, crossing her arms in an exaggerated manner.

"Really?",she grinned and waited for his answer.

"What?" Kurt mumbled, confused. He knitted his brows and Diane just couldn't help but smile.

"You're jealous?"

"I'm... what?" He still played confused but his smile gave him away. Diane stepped a little closer.

"Just an observation." She teased him a little. But she could tell he wasn't pleased earlier.

"You obviously misjudged the situation, Ms. Lockhart." He put on his half-smile and Diane just bit down on her lip, trying to suppress another smile.

"If you say so..." She whispered. The two of them were still flirting, after so many years. And it just felt natural and familiar.

"Let's go outside, Kurt."

The waiter brought them their drinks and they made their way towards the balcony. Kurt held the door open for her and she stepped out, met by a pleasant breeze that sort of stilled the warmth spreading through her body from the alcohol. They took a few steps, clearly the only ones outside. Taking in the breathtaking view of the whole city, they simultaneously took a sip from their drink.

"Still don't like Chicago?", Diane asked, admiring the view.

"Guess I've come to like it." Kurt replied quietly and looked at her. "Used to only have work connecting me to the city. But since I have you there... it's different." He chugged the remaining liquid from his glass.

Diane appreciated his honesty. And she appreciated his words. She leaned against his shoulder and looked up at him. They held each other's gaze for a brief moment until Kurt leaned down to steal a short kiss.

"You cold?"

"Why? Are you gonna do something as clichéd as lending me your jacket?"

"I just might." Kurt replied bluntly and let his hand travel down her bare back again. Diane gasped. "Or maybe not."

"Kurt...". Her voice came out as both warning and wanting.

"Let's get another drink." He took her hand and she followed him wordlessly.

* * *

 _And his hands were on her thighs again, and her fingers were in his hair again. And his lips were on her neck again and her hands were on his belt again._

 _That's the one scotch too many._


End file.
